Zara is so sweet and pretty. She loves rolling over, splashing in the bathtub, giggling for no apparent reason, and she is now napping during the day in her crib while mommy and/ or daddy are given the opportunity to spy on her from a video camera monitor and get things done around the house. Zara is so present, she has a knowing look in her eyes. Wherever we go people look at her and always say things like "she is smart", "what a pretty little girl", "so alert". etc. I am so blessed with this sweet child of mine. My love for her continues to engulf my entire being and spill out.
I went back to work at the beginning of March and it was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. I love teaching and my students missed me. I am still getting mobbed with hugs in the hall every day. I am so thankful that baby Z is at home with Daddy and not in a day care center. I can not tell you the peace of mind I have being back at work knowing that my baby is with the other person on the planet who loves her like I do. Darren has been an awesome Mr. Mom. The house is always picked up when I get home, Z is always happy, fed, and well rested when he drops her off, and daddy knows it is not an easy job being home with baby. It is constant, wonderful, but constant.
On a personal note I am still trying to figure out how to get caught up on everything and still have time to work out, do yoga, read, paint, play with baby z and make sure Lucy the pug is walked and fed. I often times feel like I need another me to get everything done, I feel absent minded, tired, and spaced out. Zara has been on a few growth spurts lately and she wants to eat every hour or two at night and that leaves me drained. I still feel fat and not very attractive and my hair is falling out by the handful. It is good that I have enough hair for 3 or 4 people but having it thin out this much is a bit scary. Making milk is an exhausting job also, especially when she wants to eat all the time. At the same time that I am feeling so exhausted I am also feeling so elated at my life. I love being a mama, I love nursing my baby, I love taking care of her 24 hours a day and just sitting here and looking at her beautiful face as she naps. She just started giggling with a big smile in her sleep, I wonder what kind of wonderful dream she is having:)
