my big little girl

Lying in bed nursing Zara back to sleep this evening I had a moment where I couldn't believe how big she is.  She is long and lean and looks like a little girl, not my little baby.  Zara is 14 months old and growing into a full blown toddler.  It is interested how time moves these days.  I have been so wrapped up in each moment that I haven't really had a chance to reflect and digest this past year of my life.  Zara is growing and changing so fast that I cannot keep up.  I love the constant change of this beautiful little lady, it is fun and exciting to watch her grow, change, develop, communicate, express, and evolve.  She has always expressed her needs clearly and that trend continues as she blossoms into a lovely little lady.  Zara's nature is kind but she has a little fire under all that water.  She is a bit shy with people when she first meets them or sees them for the first time in a little while but it is fun to watch her open up and begin to interact.  Zara is not a great sleeper, maybe she will fall back into a great sleeping trend after these molars come through but the past month has been a bit rough for mama:) 

From mama's point of view I would like to express some reflection on my parenting style.  I tried reading the books, listening to what others told me to do, follow social norms but quickly I realized that the only way for me to parent is from my own intuition.  I feel that Zara's needs are met, she is happy and supported and has thrived from the moment she arrived.  I sometimes feels people's judgements, I can hear their thoughts that Zara may be spoiled or bratty from the love she is receiving but I feel very strongly that we are instilling empathy in Zara and that will not create a bratty and spoiled child.  Supporting her, nursing her, sleeping with her and responding to her cries is not going to create a monster child who gets what she wants all the time and thinks the world revolves around her.  I feel very strongly that making sure that Zara has what she needs will only create a stronger bond between us in turn creating a child that respects us, loves us, and chooses to do the right thing not because of a reward but because she feels good about it.  I realize that a lot of my parenting decisions can be linked to attachment parenting styles and that is fine but what happened in our society to make unattached parenting the norm.  Why is it that every other nation in the world practices attachment parenting, breast feeding their babies like nature intended, sleeping with their babies, responding to their babies cries, carrying their babies, and staying close and connected.  Why is it that our society has such a problem with violent behaviors, could it be linked to these people living an unattached life where they do not attach to their parents and so do not make the attachment to the rest of mankind.  Just a little stream of consciousness, I do feel that Zara is getting all that Darren and I have to give and more and I feel very strongly that it can only benefit her in the long run.  YES I will breastfeed Zara until she weens herself, YES I will co-sleep with Zara until she is developmentally ready to make the decision to sleep in her own bed, and YES I will hold her when she cries and I will wear her on my body because it makes both of us happy:)